Be Like The Queen

When the Netflix series, The Crown, begins, Elizabeth is leading a relatively quiet life. She’s married and has two young children. She knows she’ll become queen eventually but assumes it won’t happen for many years. Then suddenly, she’s dropped into the epicenter of politics and diplomacy: she’s been crowned Queen of England far sooner than she ever imagined. 

At first, the Queen is out of her depth in nearly every conversation. She’s constantly in rooms full of men—politicians, royal family handlers, dignitaries—who don’t take her seriously. Even though she is the Queen, these men conduct business in front of her without ever asking for her input. 

Elizabeth doesn’t feel she can contribute to the discussion because she doesn’t have the same education as these men. At one point she confesses to her mother,  “I just feel like I can’t hold my own in the room.” 

Perhaps you’ve been in a similar situation at some point in your career. You feel like you’re set up to fail because you’re completely on the outside and unequipped. 

Maybe you’re “bad with numbers” and now you have to create your department’s budget. 

Or, everyone else on your team majored in computer science and you studied drama (I’ve been there). 

You’re great at doing pitches to small groups, but now you have to present at a conference. 

Whatever you're experiencing--you didn't expect it would be this way. And you want to disappear into the ground. 

The Blame Game

The stakes are high, and Elizabeth has an epic case of imposter syndrome. She doesn’t believe she has what it takes to actually BE the Queen. Nothing in her life prepared her for this, and when the Queen realizes that she’s received a second-rate education, she’s furious. 

Elizabeth confronts her mother and asks why she was raised so poorly and never taught about current events or important issues in school. Her mother shrugs and mutters something about how Elizabeth should play to her strengths, intelligence not being one of them. Ouch.

Are you making  someone else responsible for your present situation? Wherever the fault may lie, fixating on the past or blaming others is not the key to changing the circumstances. Analyzing what could have been can eat up a lot of time and emotional energy without helping you get any closer to what you actually want. By all means, acknowledge your anger, mourn what you might have missed out on, and then put your attention on moving forward as quickly as possible.

Get to the Heart of the Matter

So, what does Elizabeth do next? She doesn’t resign herself to blending in with the wallpaper for the rest of her reign. Instead, Elizabeth identifies her desire: she wants to “hold her own in the room,” but she doesn’t have a grasp on world history or current affairs—yet. 

So she hires a tutor.

Even literal Queens need professional help to be their best. 

Slowly but surely, Elizabeth gains the confidence to make herself seen and heard in those stuffy rooms. She gets the education she needs to hold her own, and she speaks up and steps into her authority.

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, out of your depth, or lacking confidence, there are people who can help you find what you seek. You can take an online class, watch a YouTube video, or find your version of a “tutor” to get the skills you need. 

If you think you’d benefit from working one-on-one with a coach to develop your confidence and leadership skills, sign up for a free discovery session with me. All you have to do is answer a few questions.

Whenever you’re confronted by the challenges life throws your way: remember to be like the Queen.

with love and respect,

Malika

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