The Downside of Flow
The Course Corrector
Candice, a client of mine, was leading a work retreat with a collaborator, John. Candice came into the multi-day session with clear goals, but it turned out that John needed something else, and took up all the space. Initially Candice was willing to be flexible to support her colleague, but as the retreat went on, she became a de-facto facilitator for John's process. He was taking up all of the space, and Candice's needs fell to the wayside.
Halfway through the retreat, Candice knew that she wasn't moving the needle on the collective objectives that she was responsible for, but it felt like it was too late to change anything, she'd just have to pick up the pieces later at the office. She felt confused and resentful about the whole experience.
Can you relate to this scenario?
The Shit Show
You are in charge. You are responsible for setting the tone. You have a vision for how this meeting/retreat/shoot/product launch will go. Then, as time passes, things are not going according to plan.
Not only aren't things going to plan, but they seem to be gaining momentum in a completely different direction.
You may believe that you've failed. The event isn't even over yet, but it might as well be, because who can stop this train now?
You're living the situation as it unfolds, but you're also looking at it from the outside as if it's a historical reenactment with a fixed ending.
So maybe you check out all together. Or maybe you just go with the flow. The flow isn't headed anywhere you want to go, but at least you're moving...and you can recover and analyze lessons learned when it's all over. Right?
The Downside of Going With The Flow
Going along with something that isn't working for you is one of the worst feelings in the world. If you are having this thought during the meeting/retreat/shoot/product launch that you are running - there is still time to speak up.
Sure, you might say something and things continue down the same disastrous path, but what if you say something and THEY DON'T? You might actually have the ability to change the course of this event. The question is, Are You Willing to Disrupt the Flow?
Damage Control
Once you're aware of the issue internally, you can say it out loud. Yes, it will probably be awkward.
In Candice's situation this could have looked something like, "Hey John, I want to check in about our workflow so far. We've spent a lot of time talking about X. We need to figure out Y and Z before we leave, so I'm going to switch gears to move the conversation in a different direction."
This type of interruption creates an important shift: Candice is no longer leaving the trajectory of the retreat up to chance. John may accept the re-direct, or he may pushback, but now there is an expressed awareness of the dynamic. The disaster is not just idea in Candice's head - it can be managed out in the open.
Next Level Leadership
Getting the right people in the room, setting the agenda for a meeting, designing a winning event, establishing the purpose of the gathering - these are all key factors leaders need to consider. But using your voice as a leader is also about the way you respond when shit hits the fan.
Do you have the courage to be honest with yourself about your vision in light of the reality taking place before you? Will you take responsibility for addressing the gap between these two stories? This is next level leadership badassery.
Events, conversational dynamics, brainstorming sessions - can all take on a life of their own. That is not a result of poor leadership, it is a result of life. If you are aware that things are going off the rails, then you are on the precipice of Major Leadership Moment. Take the risk to talk about what's happening in real time and assert the desired outcome. Even if things don't change, you will earn credibility and trust by acknowledging the situation.
With love and respect,
Malika
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