Making a Quarantine Plan
Being stuck at home is hard.
Maybe you have kids home from school who are scared...or bored...or won’t stay still for one minute.
Maybe your job doesn’t allow you to work from home and you’re worried about your finances.
Maybe you miss hugging your family, getting together with friends, or just the experience of being out at a coffee shop or restaurant. Maybe you’re a barfly (not a housefly).
I know I miss those things. Dearly.
When so much is happening outside your control and your daily routines and habits are suddenly altered, it can start to feel like you don’t have control over anything.
But there are some things you have power over, even in quarantine.
If you’re feeling anxious about the future or overwhelmed by all the time you suddenly have on your hands, making a plan is a great way to calm your anxieties and give yourself some structure.
Making a plan will help you get clear about how you want to use your time and help you set concrete goals to get there.
Step 1: Set Up a Meeting
The first step in coming up with a plan is to have a conversation.
Find someone you care about--a family member, roommate, partner, or trusted coworker. Anyone you’d feel comfortable bouncing ideas off of on a Zoom or Skype call is a good candidate.
It would be easy enough to come up with some goals for yourself and write them in your journal, but it’s crucial to engage the people you love in this conversation. If you’re in quarantine with other people, include them in this process. You share a space, so how you choose to spend your time will affect those around you, and vice-versa. It’s important for everyone to be on the same page.
For those of you who are quarantined alone: I feel you. That can be an extra level of difficulty. But you can still make a plan for yourself and get some (virtual) support from your community.
Having serious conversations with loved ones can be challenging, so I’ll share the practice I used.
I set up a meeting with my partner (yes, I really did this). I said, “Let’s have a meeting later today to figure out what we’re going to do and how our lives are going to look during this time.”
It might feel strange to have a meeting with your nearest and dearest. Do it anyway. Giving yourselves a dedicated time and place to talk and plan emphasizes the importance and value of this conversation.
Step 2: Share Your Concerns (and Take Notes)
My partner and I got together that afternoon with pens and paper, ready for our conversation. We shared our concerns and the things we were scared about, out loud, together.
Will we be able to get enough exercise?
How will we stay in touch with family and friends?
Do we have enough food?
I took notes as we talked through everything that had been running through our minds over the past few days. It was cathartic to hear these thoughts out loud and to get them written down!
There are all sorts of topics you can discuss, depending on your priorities. We used this list to get us started:
Mental Health
Physical Health
Food and Dining
Social Relationships
Family Relationships
Work
Personal Projects
Health Projects
Step 3: Decide and Divvy Up the Commitments
After we came up with a list of topics, we asked ourselves, “What are my commitments in this area?” Essentially, “What do I want to be doing about this particular topic?”
We decided on the commitments we wanted to make for each topic. Some topics are more individualized, like Personal Projects; others, Food and Dining or Family Relationships, affect everyone collectively. By coming together to discuss these items, everyone feels their voice is being heard.
For the topics that affect everyone, decide together on what the important commitments are and then divvy those up.
For example, one of my commitments for Food and Dining is to make sure that we are eating all our leftovers and not letting anything go bad and get thrown away. My partner, on the other hand, is responsible for supplying us with a steady stream of hard-boiled eggs.
4: Get Clear About Your Time
To state the obvious: being stuck at home isn’t always fun. But it can be a unique opportunity for you to get clear about how you use your time, both during the quarantine and after.
Novelist Annie Dillard wrote, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” We have a special opportunity at this moment to spend our days a bit more intentionally than normal.
Want to maintain your friendships from afar? Call, text, or video chat regularly to stay in touch.
Hoping to stay fit? Go for a daily walk or try an online workout class.
Been meaning to try meditation? Now is a great time to check out a meditation app, YouTube video, or think about other ways to build some peace into your day.
Step 5: Keep the Plan Visible
After we came up with our plan, I decorated it with colorful washi tape, and we hung it up in our kitchen. Our title? “Operation Flatten the Curve/Happier from Home.”
I don’t know if we will execute every step in our plan. But it feels positive to know how my partner is feeling, what they are committed to doing, and what I am committed to doing. It feels good to know we are in this together.
Having your plan in a visible place and sharing it with others can help you stay motivated and connected. It’s not about completing all your goals perfectly, but about building togetherness, safety, and structure.
Serious Conversations are Hard
If you’re reading this post and thinking, “I don’t want to take up anyone else’s time” or “My partner will never do this,” or “My kids will laugh in my face,” you might very well be right (especially if they’re teenagers!). It might be hard or uncomfortable to start this kind of conversation. But I can tell you with certainty that most people do want to talk right now. They recognize the value of talking about their fears and goals, and putting a plan in place to help them manage during this chaotic time.
Even if you’re feeling some fear around starting the conversation, I encourage you to to give it a try, especially right now. There is a craving for in-depth conversation and connection in this isolated environment. If someone isn’t interested, they’ll let you know. But don’t let fear of their response stop you from giving it a try.
You can also stay accountable to your commitments by posting on social media. People want to be there for each other right now, and posting is one way of inviting people in (from a safe distance). Feel free to share your plan with your broader network, or invite others to share their plans with you.
As we’ve heard so much lately, these are truly unprecedented times. Having a plan can build some support and community into your day-to-day life, strengthen your relationships, and remind you of how you truly want to spend your days.
With love and respect,
Malika
Click here to learn more about The Center for Women's Voice.