The Vegan Donut Principle
Have you ever had this thought?
I don’t want to be high maintenance.
Many people do, especially women. We are constantly trying to be “chill” and “go with the flow”. Being labeled as “high maintenance” feels like that worst thing in the world. I felt the exact same way until I had an epiphany, of all places, in a vegan donut shop.
Here’s how it happened: A brand new vegan donut store had opened up in my neighborhood and I decided to visit the shop, get a donut, journal, and make a moment out of the experience. I was really looking forward to it. The day came and I went to the shop, ordered a donut, and then the cashier gave me the total... $5.75. Pretty steep for a donut but sometimes you have to treat yourself and this was a special experience. I took the donut to a table outside, broke out my journal, took a bite and...it was terrible! In that moment I felt as if I only had two options:
Eat the donut even though I wouldn’t enjoy it in order to not waste money.
Throw the donut away and waste $5.75 on one donut.
Both options were not very appealing. I didn’t want to waste money but also didn’t want to force myself to eat something that wasn’t good just for the sake of it. I love myself more than that. Then, it hit me.. Why not go back inside and ask for a different donut? At first, I immediately rejected the idea. I was flooded with all these thoughts.
I don’t want to appear high maintenance.
What if the donut maker is behind the counter and is insulted?
What if they think I’m hoity toity?
It felt like a very big risk but I summoned the courage to go in and ask for a different donut. And you know what happened? Without thinking twice, the person behind the counter gave me another donut and it tasted so much better.
That was my “ah-ha” moment. It’s very simple but it’s also very profound: If you are in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, use your voice. This principle works for small things such as not liking your food at a restaurant and big things like following up on a payment you are owed. When you use the principle for the small things, when the big things arise you can remind yourself what you were willing to do for your vegan donut moment.
It doesn’t always come naturally, but you can train yourself to stop settling for crap and start advocating for yourself. Use your voice.
If you have ever had a “vegan donut moment” when everything clicked into place, we want to hear about it. If you're interested in 1:1 coaching or booking a workshop to help you gain the skills for self advocacy, fill out an application.